​”Dekh dekh yeh ladki kaisi hai? Isse shadhi karega?” One of my relatives asked me at my cousin’s reception. Till I was 24, he only talked about my education, job and career. As soon as I completed 24 years he started showing me girls. At that time, I realised that person’s perspectives change with your age. “How many times I have to tell that I don’t want to get married now.” He hasn’t asked me anything about my marriage since then. My cousins are getting married. Even the younger ones are putting their guns down in front of society. Sooner or later even I will also put my guns down because of my parents but till the time I can, I will enjoy my shooting. After witnessing the marriages around, I started analysing the process.

The process of marriage begin with bio data. This bio data is very different from the rèsumè you prepare for getting a job. In this bio data you have to focus on your likes, dislikes, height, weight, colour of your skin and profession (how much you earn). In this bio data, you are given only one line to describe your educational qualification and other achievements. There might not be this kind of bio data in every caste but people focus on the things which I mentioned. If you choose matrimonial websites to find your partner then there also you have to fill up the form and it is going to be very very similar to this bio data.

After preparing the bio data, you have to appoint an agent or a middle man or a middle woman. These people are famously known as marriage bureau. If you don’t want to go that way then matrimonial websites is the only other option for you. Marriage Bureau (middle man) will spread your bio data in the market. Yes, it is a market for them and your bio data is their product. According to our culture, marriage is a holy relation which is made in heaven and our society has made it a market. Marriage Bureau (middle man or agent) charges 1% to 2% brokerage of the amount girl’s side gives to boy’s side. They call it fees. They take such fees from both the sides.

Couple of months ago, mom welcomed two old age women in the house. Our neighbour had guided and followed them to our house. “What is your height?” One of the old women straight away asked. I didn’t know whose she is, but that question introduced her. She was a middle woman.

“I don’t know.” I was out with my gun.

“I feel your height would be 5 feet 8 inches.” She assumed my height after scanning me from top to bottom.

“I don’t know. There is no meaning of this. I don’t want to get married at this point of time.” I started shooting. That shot hit the bulls eye.

“It’s your choice. I am not forcing you.” She started defending herself after that shot.

“Ya aunty, he wants to gain stability and security career wise before getting married. So we are not thinking about his marriage at the moment.” My mom came in between when I was about to fire again.

“How much he earns now?” That lady was simply forcing me to shoot again.

“Who gave you our reference?” My mom was being nice to them and was asking everything with a smile. Mom changed the topic very smoothly.

“One fat lady who has slim trim husband in airport society gave me your reference.” I was stunned after hearing that description. I started wondering, “now she will shortlist girls for me?” We used to live in airport society and our relatives still live in that society.

And one of them had told my parents “so what if he is saying no, you should start searching girls. What will he do?” I am damn sure that he would have given my reference to that lady. He is at my gunpoint now, I am just waiting for our next meeting.

I have given around 35 interviews till date but that interview was the weirdest. Before that, no one had scanned me the way she did, no one had asked me the questions which she asked. We have given rise to such middle man and middle woman. They have got the guts because of us. Marriage is a relation in which a boy and a girl commit to spend rest of their lives with each other. Marriage is a bond, I agree but it is not being sold in the share market where middle men increase and decrease their rate according to the earning of a boy and the capacity of a girl’s father.

Middle man will leave you in the middle of the things and will take credit and money for doing nothing.

This is the end to the episode two of marriage and the society. This was the first step towards In the third episode I will put the light on the second step in the procedure.

Marriage and the Society: Engagement

6 thoughts on “Marriage and The Society: Bio-Data”

  1. I’m sure everyone has similar instances to narrate living in India! In urban areas it is all changing with young people taking matters in their own hands. What is good or bad is just a matter of opinion. 🙂

  2. Haha. Good observation. But with tinder and the likes I think it’s going to change. You almost took me back over a decade when I was on the line.

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