Body shaming is in the roots of Indian society. From the day you are born till the day you die, people of this society are always going to comment on your body.
At the time of birth, my son weighed 2.4 kgs and according to the doctor, he was healthy. According to medical science, it was completely normal but according to some self-acclaimed experts (my relatives), he was born thin and weak. Initially, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I just listened to what Doctor said but slowly, I started reacting to it. I did that because I felt it is going out of control. My wife started taking the stress and started finding the reasons behind his thin body or rather so-called weakness. She was completely under their influence and believed that our son is weak. On the other hand, I started countering them and there were two major factors behind that. And they are:
Conversation Starters
“Aa gaya patlu?”, “Yeh abhi bhi aisa hi hai, patla?” These kinds of conversation starters pissed me off. I never comment on anyone’s weight because I know how easily you gain weight and what it takes to reduce it. Before my son was born, these kinds of conversation starters were for me from the same set of people but I didn’t take them seriously. I laughed them off most of the time but now, I can’t hear such words for my son. It was important to shut them off before he starts understanding these comments. As a father, I would never let my son get affected in any proportion by someone’s pathetic thought process.
So far I have successfully turned down 80% of such comments. Remaining 20% gets away with ‘bade hain, unka bura nahin maante’.
Calling by names
It was alarming when people started calling my son with weird names. ‘Patlu’ & ‘Sandu (Thin)’ were the most common names. It was an ‘enough is enough’ moment for me. I started replying to such comments. “You are not patlu. You are healthy and fit enough to go around,”. Though my son didn’t understand a word, it was a clear message to the person calling him ‘patlu’. After hearing that, the discussion goes in the ‘I didn’t mean that’ phase.
First, if you didn’t mean that then why are you calling him by such names? Second, such names didn’t affect me as the paediatrician is completely okay with his weight. My only motive is that I don’t want to let my son get affected by such names. Thus, it is important to counter such people and stop them at that point only.
Role of Parents
As a parent, first, you have to stop judging others on the basis of their weight and body shape. Second, you don’t have to panic if someone says that your child is weak or thin. You shouldn’t put pressure on the child on the basis of such assessments. Third, your paediatrician is the one who will guide you in the right direction, don’t go for home experts or local experts. Fourth, the energy of your child will tell you whether he/she is weak or not.
My son is hyperactive at home and when he is weak, he gives us signs of that. Like, Yuvi is climbing the ladders of my house on his own since he was a 10-month-old. So when he asks me to pick him to our bedroom, I get the notification that he is not feeling good. Along with that, there are few more signs that suggest to me that he is not well or feeling weak. Thus, I follow these signs, not what people think or say about my son.
Every parent should know his/her child inside out before even sparing a thought on pathetic body-shaming comments.
